Totally posting cos i'm bored,
and thats it
but i like posting
it forces me to think
to feel
to be real again
i feel like juice
i think i'm going to buy some
just before i completed one assignment
one online quiz
i bought my text books
i went to every class again
i've done some uni work
i may actually get somewhere this semester
i've been out everyweek, once a week.
like grandma said i had to
i have recieved parking fines
and headaches
and quiet times
i've become closer friends with housemate
i've lost phone, but i'm working to get her back
i've been continuing and building my friendship with Em Factor
i miss life
where it was a real construct
when i would wake up every day
and grasp it by it's horns
hope that it'll bring me a new challenge.
and then in year 8 it all changed
father
internet
friends
people stopped believeing in me
started looking for faults
and i began searching with them
till someone believed in me
and i began to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
3 years it took
for me to begin to see how i was beautiful
how i has a future
how i could win against life
and then i was crushed
again
and i began to give up
again
to fall into this box
this bubble
where i can hear, i can see
but there is no smell, no taste, no touch
where nothing is pure
nothing is real
everything just happens around me
and i'm on pause
waiting for life to hit the play button
waiting to become
maybe someday will be my day
but for now i'm hoping to just change what i can
and give up on everything else
build up my grades
work on my sleep
earn cash
save
move out
and hopefully begin a new life
fresh
new thoughts
new person
new me
where i have control of the remote
and where noone but me can click pause
where i will be out of the box and running on the streets with everyone else
where i will be real.
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