You'll Find Me

read a friends blog.
saw her happiness
felt like crap.

it's strange how someone else being so happy brings you down.
i sit here
and try to figure out what she has done that's so different to me
that has allowed her to achieve this happiness.

Maybe i should stop trying to be happy
maybe i just need to live life and happiness will come with it?

sigh. JA & C,
two different people
both used me in their own ways.
So did A & JK though.
I love being used & abused..
ha ha ha

stop trying
stop searching

and they'll find me

I Don't Care

Been a while

Last uni assignment complete

exams in 4 weeks

Nationals in 5

Training

Studying

Working

Thats my life for the next 5 weeks

AND I still need to go out and have a life.

Life's looking up

about bloody time

:D

The Hardest Part

How is it that something can bring you so much pain but so much joy at the same time?
How is it that I can barely walk, barely breathe and my head is pumping, but at the same time i'm fighting back a smile?
How is it that I feel like bursting into tears cos the end seems to far,
Because my goal seems unobtainable.
How is it that I feel like I need to break every single bone in my body, and replace them in a different position. So that way I can stop making stupid mistakes.

It's my backbone
It creates me
You can't have me without it
but it brings me physical pain
mental pain
and emotional relaxation

I feel better when I am there
Better straight after
But pain too.

And pain during..

Sigh

I love Taekwondo too much