Short Blog today -- why? Cos I'm at work, should be sorting out receipts and cleaning shit, not writing the things on my mind. but meh... haha
Why do the people who you care about and consider chose friends, forget about you?
So you spend the weekend after weekend sitting at home, or traveling to your grandma's just so you don't feel completely alone. and yet you still do.
Why is it that you just want someone there beside you, someone holding you when you feel alone, someone thinking of you when you're buried deep in the shit of life? Someone there to catch you when you fall, and yet everyone you have found has been the one who caused the fall, even after they promised they wouldn't.
Why is it that you dream of having security, of love, of a family.
The hope that one day you'll have your own. and not be left to dream and hope with merely a career and many court cases to follow. That one day you can stop being the dependable, good little girl who always does what people expect. who stays at home and merely dreams of better times. who doesn't stumble home drunk at god forsaken hours. who hasn't forgotten where she's come from and where she is going but who feel just as lost. and who hates the journey. To think that all one needs is understanding, is for someone to see them. To be less invisible. To not be the girl you've always been, and to be someone people actually notice. But at the same time, not be someone notices as the good girl who went crazy. of the girl who was lost to everyone. Why can't people notice me? Is there something wrong here? Am I lacking in the day to day things people take for granted? Is there something so horribly annoying, something so lacking, something so horrible that including me is just too much for them to handle? Do I really send people away? Am I that embarrassing to acknowledge my friendship? Someone needs to tell me what's wrong? I have spent years searching for the answers. Years hoping for the truth. Instead I sit at home alone, over analyzing my life and hoping to be saved...
Why do the people who you care about and consider chose friends, forget about you?
So you spend the weekend after weekend sitting at home, or traveling to your grandma's just so you don't feel completely alone. and yet you still do.
Why is it that you just want someone there beside you, someone holding you when you feel alone, someone thinking of you when you're buried deep in the shit of life? Someone there to catch you when you fall, and yet everyone you have found has been the one who caused the fall, even after they promised they wouldn't.
Why is it that you dream of having security, of love, of a family.
The hope that one day you'll have your own. and not be left to dream and hope with merely a career and many court cases to follow. That one day you can stop being the dependable, good little girl who always does what people expect. who stays at home and merely dreams of better times. who doesn't stumble home drunk at god forsaken hours. who hasn't forgotten where she's come from and where she is going but who feel just as lost. and who hates the journey. To think that all one needs is understanding, is for someone to see them. To be less invisible. To not be the girl you've always been, and to be someone people actually notice. But at the same time, not be someone notices as the good girl who went crazy. of the girl who was lost to everyone. Why can't people notice me? Is there something wrong here? Am I lacking in the day to day things people take for granted? Is there something so horribly annoying, something so lacking, something so horrible that including me is just too much for them to handle? Do I really send people away? Am I that embarrassing to acknowledge my friendship? Someone needs to tell me what's wrong? I have spent years searching for the answers. Years hoping for the truth. Instead I sit at home alone, over analyzing my life and hoping to be saved...
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