So. No postings for a while, and nothing to report... Such a boring person! haha
But! I have a formal tomorrow, so definitely give you the rundown Friday morning once I have awoken from my drunken haze. For now, I will leave you merely with poems I have writtten, none of which relate to any people, they are amigious! :D
Why is the world so rich
whilst all the people die?
Why is the land so dry
whilst all the people cry?
How can we let life go
without even a fight?
How can we stay afloat
when it's easier to let go?
Doesn't anyone wonder?
Doesn't anyone care?
What about the constant pain?
What about the constant lives slain?
Doesn't anyone notice?
Couldn't anyone spare?
Just one cent, one thing
To help save another?
Selfish
Lies
Broken
Lives
Meet our world
Corrupted, alone
In its own Isolation
When all we have to do is try
I let them read
See my thoughts
They take with greed
Shinning in their dishonest eyes
I try to run
I try to hide
They find it fun
To hurt my pride
I spend so much time
Use all my effort
They laugh and laugh
At all my work
I hate these people
I hate this life
Everything so depressing
Everything so wrong
Let me go
Help you see
That there is more to life
Than hurting me
I sat on the ground
Isolated, alone
For no-one notices
The girl with the crooked eyes
Leave us alone, I hear girls cry
You only like us for our legs
Our breasts, our looks
Not for us
I turned away
I tried to run
But I saw nowhere to turn
Only could I hear
Only could I cry
For no-one notices
The girl with the crooked eyes
Leave you alone?
To us they won’t near the others
Screamed. And why?
Cos our hair isn’t right?
It was then I cried
At least they knew where they stood
I knew, I sighed
No-one could Love the girl with the crooked eyes
I watched him from across the room
His blue eyes moving ever so slow
His body rippled beneath his shirt
But he'll never notice me
His smile bright by day
The same smile somewhat quiet by night
He brushed his locks from his face
But he'll never notice me
Me, the girl who can't speak out
For shyness rules my speech
Me, the girl with the crooked eyes
For sight lacked in each
His muscular hand I wanted in mine
I wanted his touch, his love
I knew, I sighed
He'll never notice me
Me the girl who knew his name
But will never speak it
Me, the girl who had no fame
But wished he didn't need it
How I wished he'd notice me
Maybe one day he shall
But never, oh never
Will he love me
Okay, So thats it, I'm sick of being alone, i'm tired of feeling like there is noone there for me anymore, and even if there was, that they don't really care about me. I know that there are people there, and that this is just some passing phase where i am, yet again, seeing the negative in everything and not wanting to see the positive.
Problem: I don't want everyone's pity, i don't want the nice inbox messages telling me to fight through, or asking me if i'm okay! Of course i'm okay, if i wasn't okay i wouldn't be blogging, i wouldn't find the strength to blog, i wouldn't bother. it wouldn't be worth it. Of course i'm going to fight through. haven't i been doing so for ages. i have been fighting the low times since at least the divorce, or it could have started with the abuse. i don't know. but i know i'm going to keep fighting. ive got nothing more to lose.
i know people are just trying to be there for me. show me that i'm not alone. but their sympathy isn't what i want. i just want a friend. someone who can treat me like a normal person, and chill out, or invite me out. someone who doesn't act like im a baasket case. sigghhh
maybe i'm just asing for too much?
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