Victims Of Love

So now that I know you're analysing my every word

i can be very specific

as well as non descript

and know you are reading

and hopefully understanding

and learning

I think this is easier than getting me drunk! :P

not that i've got anything against getting drunk! :P

So. basically. to put it bluntly.

i'm afraid to trust

i'm afraid to love

i'm afraid to be me.

i don't like rejection

or judgement

or peoples opinions of me

I'm afraid that if people get to know me they'll run the opposite direction

gosh i make jokes about that to you now

and yet.

i used to be able to just stop thinking

if i liked a guy

i would just not allow myself to think of them

i'm work heaps

study

do anything to keep my mind off them

even when i was dating them

i'd avoid speaking to them

get into trouble for my lack of communication

& then everything ends

and i wonder why i continue making the same mistakes

But i seem to be talking to you still.

In fact.

I seem to think about you all the bloody time

even if it's just a smile to myself about you calling me beautiful

or a slight amount of memory loss from the other night that i am trying in vain to fill. :P

but either way you're always on my mind

i wonder when you're working

when i'll see you next

sigh.

no more talking bianca

time to get offline

and do something with your time

something other than facebook stalking and writing blogs about you.

:)

Although i do kinda miss you already.

x