Love The Way You Lie

Anger.

It's a hard thing to describe.

Something that consumes you, fills your mind with hate, with red, with total oblivion to reality. Something that takes over, so you can no longer control your thoughts, your actions, you. Something that stops you from feeling anything else. You lose all compassion, all love, all empathy. Everything.

All you have is an all consuming fog. It takes over your mind, your heart, your entire being.

And then it holds you. For days on end. Until you're numb. Until you no longer care if the threats are carried through. Until you just want that object of your anger to go away. To leave you in your mind.

But there are two types of anger. Those that are internal, and those that are external. The all consuming anger that is aimed at the world. Aimed at society, aimed at moral concepts, aimed at yourself. Why should you conform to what people believe? She calls you a pretentious spoilt bitch, and what does she have to prove that you are? And then there is the anger aimed at a person, a specific anger. Something that usually disappears when the person you're angry at leaves.

The person who has upset you, or angered you, or called you names that are ridiculous and degrading has left the fucking building. The person who has shown you absolutely no appreciation for anything. Ignored all those years where she couldn't cope with reality, all those nights where she has forgotten that her two little boys are hungry. Those nights where he son hits her daughter and then just fucks off. And where her daughter just wipes away her tears and makes dinner for the little ones. Those nights where her once husband treats her kids like crap, but her daughter never asks for help. She's just forgotten all those times her once husband calls and abuses her, abuses her children, and her daughter just takes it all on the chin. Stays strong for the others. The nights where her daughter believes she needs a night out to be herself, to begin a new life, so her daughter stays at home with the little boys.

All forgotten.

All past memories.

All a waste of time. Because now her daughter is a spoilt, inconsiderate, pretentious little bitch. Someone expendable. Someone that once you get bored of you can just throw away with the garbage.

And the worst type of anger. The one that consumes you for days. The one which makes you the hating, angry person you are. The anger that sits in your gut until you feel sick. The anger that you swallow, you don't let out and you just let slowly take over you. Both mixed together.

The anger where you are so angry at the world, all the people in it and reality. The anger where you just want to yell and scream and punch something.

All consuming.

All timeless

People say that holding onto anger is dangerous. That it’s the worst someone could do holding anger in their gut. Waiting for it to subside. I wonder if it ever does. It seems to remain. Sitting there, taunting, hunting. Its something you have to feed, control and keep alive.