Welcome to the Jungle

I'm not even sure what i am going to write here.

Everything just seems a little overwhelming lately.

heaps of assignments due

overwhelmed with uni

work

im rather unwell

antibiotics

trying to avoid antibiotics cos they arent that good for you

at all.

and then my relationship

dont worry

i wont change it for the world!

I love my boyfriend

more than i have ever loved anyone

and he brings me such happiness

but now it's settling

and we're starting to be a comfortable couple

and this scares me

should it scare me?

that we just chill and watch movies

or go out to parties

but that we don't run around crazy on magical budget dates

or we don't do things on a whim

or that we're just comfortable

the honey moon excitement period worn off

no more exciting randomness.

i miss it

and it scares me that it's gone

it's a good thing though

i've never gotten to this stage in a relationship

a happy, content and comfortable relationship

where we communicate

and speak about the future

and enjoy one another

but where has the magic gone?

I think i should speak to him

and bring it back

budget dates

running under sprinklers

eating cake in the dark

summers coming back

along with the warmth

and long holidays

where we can stay up all night eating

and run under sprinklers

and spend nights at the beach.

Can you have both?

exciting

and

comfortable?

if not; i'd choose comfortable.

any day

cos i don't want to lose what i have.

peace x

Drowning in Denial

I suppose I can't deal with these ups and downs

one min im laughing and enjoying life

the next i just want to bury my head in the sand

so behind in uni

losing weight again

missing my bf

just wanting to defer uni

go away

run far away

and enjoy a break

but ill soldier through

live it tough

finish this degree

and then run

get a job in another state

where i have to start fresh

hopefully i wont lose the one i love

hopefully we can run off together

both chasing careers

but together

hopefully i can always be with him

happy

in his arms

and safe.

but for now.

back to uni

no more drawing

and study

cos there is no time for dreams

reality is too close

i feel better for writing.

xx

The Best is Yet to Come

At uni

Spending quality time with Miss S.

It's been a while since we chilled at uni.

Been a while since I laughed as much as last night

I had so much fun

If I strive to smile and laugh anywhere near to that every day

My future is looking bright..

As said by Stacey Kent: "The Best is Yet to Come"

xx

Chasing Cars

Chasing dreams

Chasing reality

Chasing life.

Never feeling like you can pull ahead.

Always just slightly behind the goal you wish to achieve

But why should that matter to me.

Why do I want to live life in the fast lane.

Spending my days and years trying to catch up with everything that's infront

not enjoying the day as it goes by

loving the special moments

the moments that make me smile

deep within my heart.

i have amazing friends

favourite people

and a man

a man who is strong, beautiful and deep

a man who thinks deeply and carefully before he makes decisions

a man who wont take me for granted

a man who i love

deeply

truthfully

carefully

and happily

I have a constant (very very constant) job

I have a uni career that is struggling

and a heart that is no longer broken

at yet i still strive to be the best

and to not fall behind

struggling when i dont need to be

enjoy life please

i need to learn how to.

cos i am sick of running around and around in circles

always ending up where i was when i started

and never looking back...

time to pick a new route

learn

smile and grow

xx

Sleep

I want to go home

I've had enough of this now

I just want to hide out in my room

and not feel like I have to be social.

Blergh.

Bit negative today

maybe it's bedtime.

I miss you babe

xx

Love is Rare

I don't even know what I'm thinking.
Why am I planning these things?

Even if it is only my dreams
Honestly. What's wrong with me?
Sigh!

I shouldn't be planning this far ahead.
I shouldn't be wanting to do this.
I shouldn't be excited by this when it doesn't even exist yet!

Sigh Bianca,
you are seriously a case for sore eyes!

:P

x

Lost In Stereo

"And I'm just like cellophane,

Cos she see's right through me
I know she's glitter and gold
And that's just the price I pay
When I don't even know her name
She's slipping away"


All Time Low
Depressing
Good when I feel as I do


Good nights out
Fun times
Too tired to take part
Leave early
upset I miss out
but I just feel like I will bring a downer to the night
Wish I could be happy like all them



but instead I'm fighting my low's again
I WILL win this time
I'm fighting for more than just myself this time
I have too much to lose
I worked to hard to get to where I am.



I think I'm just working myself too hard
Can't wait till June is over
Savings,
Hopefully no more maccas
or at least only once a week again

back to sleep

Perhaps sleep will make a difference
Then I wont be so sensitive
Instead, I'll have control over my emotions.


Maybe
:S


Peace
Night