Waiting For The End

To make a difference in ones world

To change a life

To create a new world

Where someone is new, alive

How amazing would it be?

instead i watch as people falter

as they refuse to push through the pain

push through the difficult times and see the good times later

Hey, what am i saying

that was me not long ago

and still at times if i'm not careful

always consciously aware of my feelings

of my thoughts

not continuously watching out for that change in behaviour

fearing what it may do to me

avoiding what may end up another spiral.

i'm not sure if this behaviour is right

but i don't know how to stop it.

the worst feeling in the world is when you can feel it creeping up on you

the dark swirls slowly filling in the corners of your vision

where you stare at the world ahead with such hope and joy

all the bright colours, the sun, happiness

when slowly your mind fills with the negativity

and slowly you begin to see dark circles, which grow

prosper

take over

and then you're stuck

in a depressed state

the blackness having completely taken over your mind

and all you can see is the end.

not only is it all you can see

but it's all you want to see

you're just waiting for the end

****

""To drown out the voices in your head,

to bury the noise deep within your soul.
Where no one can find it, and you can no longer hear it.

The never ending scream.

I don't want to hear it,

Nothing anyone can say will bring me any further down.

Whether that's due to me already hitting rock bottom,

or because I am the stronger person I don't know.

All I know is that my head is splitting at the seams,

there is nothing holding me together other than

useless and hopeless dreams.""

****

How simple it all seems

How writing about life, and how one feels

can be broken into a paragraph

but noone ever really considers anything past that paragraph

what about what someone is really feeling but is too afraid to say

couldn't the paragraph be a general outline where the actual emotion is too great or to complicated to explain?

No idea

B x