Showing posts with label lost. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lost. Show all posts

Monday, July 19, 2010

To be the one

After a while
I am beginning to move on from high school
he cares about someone else
he likes someone else
and wont like me
i listen to him
i listen to him talk about her
and i can't listen anymore
about how wonderful her hugs are
about how she's talking to him again
about how he can't move on
so i rid myself of him
i stop myself from thinking
i delete messages
i empty beliefs
i clean my mind


My Best Friend

Is beautiful
is kind

is understanding
loves me for me
never expects me to do anything
never judges my decisions
just waits until i learn from my mistakes
and it there
always
to pick up the broken pieces
to wipe away the tears
to fix me from heartbreak
and to heal my wounds

she's like a packet of bandaids
waiting on the shelf for me to break
for me to fall
but will be there as soon as i need her

i just wish i was a better friend to her
cos she deserves me to be

i'm working on it
i'm going to places when she asks

i heard her sing on the weekend
amazing
i nearly cried
she sang with such a pure voice
with such love
such devotion

i was in her church
surrounded by her friends, the congregation
and i'm not religious
but her voice nearly made me
i want to go back
just to hear her sing again

she completes me as a person
she makes me stronger
i know where to go
i have someone there for me
when all men leave
when all family fight
when i feel there is nothing left to live for
she shows me the way.

and for that i am forever grateful


Saturday, July 17, 2010

Waiting for So Long, What have I become?

So no blog posts for a while
not much to say.
haven't done much
need to move on from High School
he's not interested
i know that
and it's stupid
and lame
and maybe even hurting me

also need to move on from the other
he has just been presenting me with mixed messages
that my brain can no longer handle
and i'm tired
i'm bored
i'm lonely
so i'm no longer trying

cocktails with the B Girls tonight
excited
church with the Em Factor tomorrow
should be fun
especially if i meet Sushi ;)
training tomorrow too
i WILL go
i need to go
it keeps me sane

been going to uni
big debate in class
I was practically the devil's advocate
all for the criminal
all against the system
even though the crim was a freak
talking about the fritzl case to be honest
i was all about mitigating factors that it's likely noone thinks about

i wasn't excusing case
but trying to get others to think about other factors
and to not just label him a freak
mmm... was fun
lecturer was a little thrown
especially since i am the only 1st year student in the class
and i was talking more, arguing more, and actually had some valid points.
really hoping to do really well this semester
well i'm trying... so good start

but yeah
other than uni
which has started off well

i'm lonley
i'm sad
but i'm fighting
i'm reading
i'm seeing what has caused the holes
the breakages
i don't know how to fix them yet
but i know why they are there
and thats step one...
:)